INADEQUATE

I feel powerless in my life. i feel like my very existing is futile. there are things that i want to do yet i cannot, for i amount insurmountable hurdles of which my brains magnifies. I'm where i don't want to be, i yearn for people, i feel isolated, bounded by my minds propaganda, locked in by imaginary doors, i need power for what i must do, for the loneliness, the fucking loneliness is crushing me, drawing out my breath, slowly,slowly,slowly bringing me to the end, all the while i am very aware of this, this fucking predicament.
I'm a fucking fool for opening like this, yet it's attractive, a blueprint of my brain, my fucked up brain, which teachers loved yet i hated, my brain that see fit to ask questions that needn't, and shouldn't be asked, a brain that see fit to pass whole days by in the hope of coming to a conclusion on some perverted or petty idea.

what can i do?
i am amazed that people talk to me