i walked around a corner, and i saw god, he then preceded to kick me in the gut. and just when i thought things were getting better

loyalty, i can offer that i now know, utter loyalty to friends

me casa tua casa

i want someone, someone to talk to, to divulge to, to hold to me and say that she is mine.
but i don't see this happening, and it makes me wonder, just what to do with myself......................................................................................................................

i wrote something else, but then i deleted it because i was afraid who would read it,

i'll summarise it: i feel dumb and ignorant, and i don't know how to help someone that has helped me

it seems like everyone's crying over loss, it seems like my world has turned to black, twisted all that i see, and all that i am, i'm finding it hard to find something to believe in.

your a vague memory
a silhouette
you've lost all colour and shade
the memories kept
they now seem all the same
i loved you
but it's vague as you begin to fade

bye bye everybody, what i haven't done will remain my folly, what is true loves gain, when i'm not say, to be my one, and enjoy all the fun for the remaining days.
it be true when i say to you, i love you.
but now i must go, i'm sorry for the misleading stray.
thats all, i don't want to think about this any more.
it saddens me

bye boppers

come whatever may

wicked and beauty

the jollies to gander in the fey forest, lights go whirling by, with the pounding of hoofs and dreaded creak of a drawing bow, to gander on thy pearl white skin, haloed by a golden wave that descends down white plains to the very roots of pearlescent mounds. thy own hand sways to and fro over your body, to gander with deadly intent, and without missing a breath, to draw back that bow, with one last examination of true beauty, i release, the whistle is music, the thump is death, a ruby snake conquers the pearl, true beauty is dead,

there are questions that need answers, but i think i won't like the answers, got a feeling that i'm about to start a new chapter, its interesting and scary at the same time.
but how to close the old one, and such a good chapter it was, i going to miss it when it finally goes.

if what you propose is true,
i would lie on a bed of nails only for you,
that scent on your body reminds me of that morning dew,
i would be by your side, whenever you cry, right on cue,
i would lay you down on flowerbeds if only for a few,
stare at the sky and wonder how in blue hell i have you,

knowing happiness, with every loving kiss,
to be washed away from all pains,
to caress your skin, with no fear,
of losing you

i'm afraid that all of this, all of this will come to a close
lose everything, your smiling grin, then payback what i owe
clouds a' gathering, pour down, they wash away everything i own
but you'll remain, you'll remain, oh please, oh please don't go
you'll stand in the rain, with nothing, nothing, but we will grow
i need no things, no simple things, as i can lay you low.

sparkles off your cheeks , they reflect my loving grin,
i should try and Wonder how, but i'm lost up in the now
laying here with you, telling me things that are all new,
oh, i'm here with you

the hills roll around, as we toss about on the ground,
i cannot hear a thing, your breath, the only sound,
all the covers will come down, and gaze at the new things i've found,
i would give that look, and place my lips gently on you crown,
your touch, the smoothest touch that i've found,
i would look at you, as long as i'm here with you.

thinking how great life was at that very moment almost nearly cost me it

something weighs me down, my mind is heavy with thoughts, times are changing and i don't want them to. people i've known for a while, and that i have built my own little world around are leaving, climate change is happening in my own little world, my drams no seem harder to attain, what do i put first, my dreams or reconstruction of my own world.

big world or little world, hhmmmnn ta dum ta dum, shit fuck man i wanna go away, i wanna leave, just go away with a couple of things, find a forest, become a lost boy

100th post

someone is chipping at my rock,

a dying fire has been resparked, just what the hell am i doing, to chickenshit to do it yet to withdrawn to let anybody do it for me.
its getting hard, too fucking hard, i'm going to lose her, i know it, and that's the worst thing about it, i know it, our lives will separate and i wont see her, ever, and i'll just keep thinking about what i should have done.
only the memory will remain, i gotta change it.
November is a scapegoat, a pseudo name, nothing more then mere code, the one i want, i see every week, yet i try not to let myself put into a situation that would be unknown of to me, new waters, deep dark new waters

my brown eye girl.

how powerful are these words

i love you

a ramble-ar ramble-ar ramble-ar gamble

i worry for a possession of mine that isn't really mine

what is november any more? someone answer? please?

you were amiss, the space where you sat empty, only the hint of your perfume remains, exotic flavours, too hard to single out one particular scent in the grand masterpiece.
i take a slow, deep breath in, trying to figure out a name to place in its absence, but, i don't know.
for how can i place such a mundane word to such poignant smell, but, i think november would do, don't you?

its fun to lose, and to pretend

i think i'm dumb or maybe just happy

sweet November, its been to long, your picture has blurred with emotion, strange colours seep into the fray and pull and tug at your face, all i have now are memories, and i'll cherish them, love them, i promise i will never forget the emotions that i felt with you and you alone.

this cannot, will not be the end

i hope so

awhile ago i felt bliss after pain, and i have to thank a friend for that.

who's watching over me

emerald green leaf obeys its master
though he remains unseen, my leaf sways faster
twisting and churning, waving, leaving
held without the restraint, locked without locks
bound to a life of servitude, plucked from the very root,
it follows until it hits the floor, then
then its no longer green, but a shade of red
passion, it what we usually realise when we're red
all the is worth pursuing is passion,
people and place and experiences that inspire passion
are whats great,

I've been distracted

don't speak

MOTHERFUCKER